The Spirit Of  Divorce.  

Marriage was and is God's idea. He created it in Eden when He made them male and female in His image and commanded them to multiply and fill the earth. Marriage is an allegory, a picture, of Jesus Christ's relationship with the church, His bride and body. Ephesians 5. Marriage is a covenant and is often used in the Old Testament to explain God's relationship with Israel. Hosea, Jeremiah 3:8

The Bible says that whoever finds a wife finds a good thing and favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
The New Testament says in Hebrews that marriage should be held in honor. We also read that Jesus will be married to the Church in the end. Committing adultery is breaking the covenant of marriage and in the law of Moses punishable by stoning. Adultery is then also the only reason Jesus gave for divorce.

Divorce was not God's idea. It was His plan that marriage lasts until death. The Bible says in Malachai 2:16 that God hates divorce. Unfaithfulness and covenant breaking is an abomination to God.  Exodus 20:27,Ezekiel 17: 15

Why would our enemy NOT bring divorce as an option, temptation, as a spirit to us? Divorce destroys many. It breaks what God has put together as one. The spirit of divorce comes as a demonic oppression. This is why some folks just "wake" up one day and are almost surprised that they are divorced.

Fight this oppression like any other attack. (not to think it is as any other temptation). We have to make a choice whether we will please God and agree with Him or whether we will seek our own interests and seek our own way. (This excludes actual abuse) Often the spirit that causes divorce will lie, deceive and manipulate us to see things that is not there at all. When we come to resisting the spirit of divorce it is usually at the end of a long line of temptations and lies that we should have resisted and did not.

Looking at divorce in hindsight; It started on the first time selfish, self-centered choices were made. The Bible says that the married couple is no longer two but one. Failing to incorporate this reality in your day-to-day reality gives the spirit that causes divorce  a foothold, a landing place from where to work its wicked magic. Failing to incorporate both spouses in all of their talents, personalities, gifts and strengths into the marriage unity breaks the covenant. Ruth Graham used to say if both are exactly alike, one is unnecessary. Thus opposites are often married so that we can fulfill and augment one another. This failure causes the first hairline fractures where the seeds of separation could lodge in to rupture the unity. I Peter 4:10,

A continues struggle to keep the marriage solid and fill all the cracks starts on the day of the wedding. This is what Paul spoke about when he said that those who get married will have trouble in the flesh (I Cor 7:28). This is the fight. The fight is not whether he will remake her into his idea of what a wife should be or if she does it to him. The fight is to keep from giving the enemy of God and us and marriage an opening to sow his evil seeds into our relationships. Ephesians 4:26

How does this look practically? It takes a lot of communication, patience, humility and love. Listen to your spouse. Listen to their heart and make sure you really understand. Get to know one another really well.  Ephesians 4:2 Colosians 3:13 It is so sad to see people who have been married for decades and all they do is to be co-dependent. A real relationship is costly. It will cost vulnerability, time, energy and resources. There is no longer "I", "Me" and "myself" but rather"us" and "we". I Peter 5:5

Divorce is never inevitable. It is not an option for anyone who wants to please God. Resist the temptation to even entertain the thought and keep working at keeping the marriage solid. It is as important as any other daily devotional and spiritual discipline. Our marriage represents God.

Many are faced with lopsided marriages. Some caused by fear and laziness. It is easier to fight about who will do the dishes than how to split the kids and belongings after 20 years. Many of us shy away from the fights about the dishes just to have the resentment pile up on the inside for decades and then it results in a war. Peace at any cost makes a terrible marriage. God has a purpose why He put the two specific personalities, talents and gifts together. He has a work He will do through us in one another lives if we do not shrink back.  Proverbs 27:17,

Getting to know one another may come through disagreements and arguments. We do not marry for peace. Tranquility and peace belong to the hermit in the cave, monasteries and convents.

Marriage Vows  by Marietjie Chase

Because we just celebrated our twenty third anniversary, because our oldest son (Steve's son from BC) is getting married this weekend and because I came across our wedding video this past Sunday and watched some of it, my mind has been on Marriage Vows. We were so young, so innocent. How little did we know. I can remember that I did not really care about what the preacher said or what the ceremony was like. I had a pretty dress and was getting married. I was in a hurry to start our life together.

But with maturity comes understanding. I now understand that God takes vows serious, even if you take them in ignorance. He is a covenant keeping God. Remember the Gibeons that tricked Joshua into making a covenant with them and then Joshua did not keep the covenant. David, the man after God’s heart, later came and rectified this. The Bible says not to swear falsly and if you promised something, even if it is to your own hurt, that you should keep the promise. Marriage vows is a covenant.

This covenant is not only between husband and wife. It is also between husband, wife and God. And so the Bible says that a threefold cord is not easily broken. But this covenant is not only between husband, wife and God but also includes every child that is brought to life by this union. The generations to come will be blessed by those who keep covenant and will be cursed from those who break covenant.

The Bible says in Malachi that God hates divorce. There is few things that is put as plainly as this to tell us what God hates and abhores. It is clear that divorce can never be an option for those who seek to please God.

So in the light of all this would a marriage covenant, marriage vows that reads like this, be better?

Minister to both Groom and Bride: “Do you both promise to place God and His word first in your individual lives and in your marriage?”

Bride and Groom: “I do” and “I do”

Minister to the Groom: Do you,......, promise before God and all these witnesses, to take ,......, as your wife, to forsake your father and mother and cleave to her, to love her, to cherish her and to lay your life down for her, even as Jesus Christ gave Himself for the Church; for as long as you both shall live.”

Groom: “I do”

Minister to the Bride: “Do you, ....., promise before God and all these witnesses, to take, ......, as your husband, to honor him, to respect him, to adapt yourself to him and to submit to him even as the Church submit to Jesus Christ; for as long as you both shall live.”

Bride: “I do”
 

Maybe we can prevent some divorces by changing how the marriages start.