Teaching our Sons to Love

Neglecting to actively teach our sons how to love leave them to cob it together themselves. Often the examples they grow up with does not help much to educate them either.

Men, boys, remember the girl you fell in love with. It is easy to forget why you were attracted to her to begin with because women change. They respond, react to the action of the people they are in relationship with. If you are kind and considerate consistently they will respond in kind. Women also go through a ton of biological changes when they become mothers. It may be best to have an attitude of celebrating the changes. At least you will not be bored and if you stick with it, she will keep the relationship interesting. Yes, most men hope that she will not change but the fact is that she will. The man in a woman's life have a great deal to do with how she changes.

You owe it to your children to model a relationship with your spouse that they can reproduce and be happy in. Loving their mother is the best thing a father can do for his children. Model respect so that they may become respectful adults. Model kindness, love and generosity so that they can become people of character. Nothing speak louder than your actions.

Dominating, controlling, manipulating a person, is NOT love.
Keeping all the money, keeping her in basic poverty, is NOT love. Refusing to do chores, expecting her to be your slave, is NOT love. Screaming at her, calling her derogatory names, mocking her, berating her, verbally assaulting her, is NOT love. Controlling her association with family and friends, is NOT love.

Well, maybe some thick skull need things spelled out. When you tell her what to wear, and how to wear it, it is abuse not love. When you portion her food out and control what and how much she eats, it is abuse not love. When you limit her time spend with family and friends or make it unpleasant and embarrassing, it is abuse not love. When you control how much money she has and how she spends it, it is abuse not love. When you yell and scream, curse and threaten, browbeating her into complying with you, it is abuse not love. The man is NOT the dictator in the home. The woman and children are NOT your property or slaves.

So how do you fulfill the role of leader in your home while avoiding these pitfalls? It begins with an attitude of the heart. A humble heart, aware of of your own fears and shortcomings, will be more able to lead in a kind and gentle way. Consider how our heavenly Father deals with us and emulate that. Be aware that your wife and your children are precious gifts to you. They belong to God. He only let you have them to brighten your life. Your actions and words matter a great deal. Find somewhere else to blow of steam not at your family. Be unselfish. If you are only concerned for yourself, everyone is a potential enemy, even the people you profess to love.

The Bible says: 
Husband love your wife just as Jesus loves the church and gave Himself for her. Eph 5 :25
When men are abusive to their wives, God does not listen to their prayers. 1 Peter 3:17
Those who lead among us should not "lord it over" those they lead.  1 Peter 5:3, Matthew 20:25
Fathers do not frustrate your children. Eph 6:4